LIBERATE THE NEUROTYPICALS!

By Dan Coulter

Poor neurotypicals. Sometimes they just don't have a clue.

What's a neurotypical? It's a label for someone who doesn't have 
Asperger Syndrome or "AS." (I don't know who coined the term, but I first heard 
it used by Dr. Peter Gerhardt.) We can call neurotypicals "NT's" for 
short.

When an NT first encounters someone with Asperger Syndrome, he or she 
often sees quirky AS behaviors as a warning. "Opps, something wrong with 
this one. Better stay clear."

Many NT's routinely erect mental barriers between themselves and people 
with AS, without realizing they're walling themselves off from some really 
bright, interesting people. "Barrier behavior" can range - especially 
in kids -- from avoiding or ignoring people with AS to taunting, harassing 
or taking advantage of them.

Let's call this Barrier Behavior Disorder (BBD). Unfortunately, BBD 
doesn't tend to fix itself. So who's going to break down these barriers and 
free the neurotypicals?

Um, that would be you and me. If you're reading this, you've probably 
either got AS, have someone in your family with AS and/or know a lot 
about AS. There's nobody more qualified to enlist in the NT-BBD liberation 
movement.

While I'm sympathetic to anyone with AS who doesn't want to widely 
disclose the fact, I also know of plenty of instances where neurotypical 
behavior changed for the better after someone took the trouble to help an NT 
understand Asperger Syndrome and what it does and doesn't mean.

It's natural to feel awkward when you're confronted with something new 
and don't know how to react. So let's tell neurotypicals a bit about 
Asperger Syndrome and explain how to react when a person talks obsessively about 
one subject -- or makes blunt observations -- or can't seem to ever find 
quite the right words to say. They'll be much more likely to interact long 
enough to see some of the strengths a person with AS has.

What I'm talking about goes beyond disclosure. I'm talking about an 
education campaign that can make life a lot better for all concerned.

You can start on a small scale. Are you concerned about what would 
happen if the police stopped your daughter who gets very upset with authority 
figures? My wife got a very positive reception when she held a seminar 
on Asperger Syndrome for local police.

Does your son shop at a local store? Maybe you could offer to do a 
quick talk on AS to a gathering of the store's cashiers just before or after 
store hours.

It helps if you keep your presentation short (you can do a lot in 5 or 
10 minutes if you prepare properly) and if you describe specific behaviors 
and make suggestions about dealing with them. For example:
* If a customer is nervous and has a hard time finding the right 
words, it helps to be patient and friendly and don't rush the customer.
* If a customer doesn't seem to understand a part of the checkout 
procedure (for example, gives a checkout clerk his money before the item he is 
buying) just explain in a friendly way that you need to see the item he's 
buying so you'll know how much to charge him.
* Be careful not to talk to an adult or teenager having difficulties 
like you would talk to a small child, just explain things clearly in the 
same friendly tone of voice you'd use to give directions to an adult who 
didn't know where in the store to find the hardware department.

Of course, the idea for this education initiative didn't start with me. 
There are plenty of folks already out there helping neurotypicals learn 
about AS. But if you're new to the campaign, here's a tip: it helps to 
stress the benefits for both people with AS and for your intended 
audience when you're proposing presentations.

Most store managers, for example, should see the benefits of having 
their employees know how to deal with a situation calmly and avoid possible 
incidents where shopping is disrupted. Most police want to have good 
relations with the community and appreciate having accurate information 
when they deal with a person who has special needs. You're not telling 
people how to do their jobs; you're giving them information that will help 
them make good decisions in situations they're likely to encounter.

A father recently told me that his teenage son with Asperger Syndrome 
got upset anytime they were driving together and saw a police car. The 
father said he planned not only to talk with the local police about AS, but 
that he'd ask if an officer would be willing to do a practice traffic stop. 
After some preparation and discussion, the son could drive across a parking 
lot and an officer could "pull him over" and help him practice the right 
way to respond to a police officer in that situation.

What a good idea!

Which brings up another point. Asperger Syndrome support groups are 
great places to go for resources and ideas. (The ASPEN organization in New 
Jersey is an excellent example of an AS support and education organization. 
You can find out more information about ASPEN at www.aspennj.org.) If 
you're not the best public speaker in the world, maybe you can enlist another 
parent to help you make presentations. And maybe you can help the other parent 
in some other way.

There are also times when it helps to turn to a professional.

A mother recently wrote me about dramatic changes in classmate 
attitudes after a psychologist gave a presentation about Asperger Syndrome to a 
school assembly. The presentation helped the students understand what having 
AS was like and how kids with AS just wanted to be treated like everyone 
else.  The mother said that kids who had routinely shunned and teased her son 
came up to him after the assembly to apologize. In the days the followed, 
classmates began including him in activities and sitting with him at 
lunch.

My wife and I have spent a lot of time with our son who has AS, helping 
him with his social skills and preparing him to interact with people in a 
variety of real-world situations. There are plenty of times where he's 
going to be out there and just have to cope. But anything he, and we, 
can do to help people understand what AS means and meet him halfway tends 
to level the playing field -- so he's not fighting barriers that shouldn't 
be there in the first place.

It's sometimes amazing how great people can be if you just let them 
know what's going on and give them a chance.

So let's all work to eradicate NT-BBD.

Our neurotypical friends deserve nothing less.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the writer/producer of the video, 
"INTRICATE MINDS: Understanding Classmates with Asperger Syndrome." 
You can find more articles on his website at: www.coultervideo.com.

Copyright 2005 Dan Coulter Used by permission. All rights reserved.