KIDS NEED EACH OTHER

By Dan Coulter

I think kids need each other.   

Kids don't just learn from parents and teachers, they learn from other
kids. One of the most important lessons they can learn is how to get along
with people who don't look or think or act exactly like they do.

That's why I believe everyone -- typical kids, gifted kids, and kids
with special needs - should be interacting in schools.  That doesn't mean
I'm opposed to advanced placement classes or self-contained classrooms for
special needs kids.  I'm in favor of these kinds of groupings, as long
as they're really designed as the best way to teach the students involved
and are not an excuse to isolate kids from each other.

Whenever it's practical, I think it's good to have kids with special
needs in mainstream classes with other kids -- and to have schools actively
support positive interactions between kids of all ability levels in and
out of class.  It's especially important to integrate kids who don't look
or act quite like everyone else. 

There are a range of conditions such as Asperger Syndrome, Higher
Functioning Autism, Pervasive Developmental Delay, Semantic-Pragmatic
Disorder (the list goes on and on), that can make kids appear different
to their classmates.  Many of these kids have normal to superior
intelligence and can do the academic work that's required in regular or advanced
classes.

Their differences, however, can serve as a wall between them and their
peers.  Maybe one has a processing problem that makes his speech slow,
a second is sensitive to loud noises and a third has a hard time making
conversation.   If the other kids in the class avoid these kids because
of their differences, they may never find out that one is an expert on
fish, another is an astronomy prodigy and a third can do complex math
problems in her head.  Or, the "different" kids may just have similar interests to
their classmates.

While these artificial walls isolate kids who are different, they also
diminish the other kids in the class.  Not only do they miss out on
knowing some interesting classmates, they risk forming a habit of only seeking
out and associating with people who look and act like themselves.

Countries are becoming more culturally diverse.  National economies
have largely merged into a global economy.  Kids who learn to investigate
differences and interact with a variety of people will have a
tremendous advantage when they leave school and enter the real world - and kids
who don't will be at a disadvantage.   

When we judge people only by their differences and don't look any
deeper, it's easy to make false assumptions or to miss opportunities.

I got a lesson about making assumptions when I worked in the corporate
world.  In a team-building exercise, I was with a group of co-workers
given a challenge to cross a pretend river.   Standing in a field, we were
given some wooden two-by-fours to make a narrow bridge.  As a team, we had to
figure out how to lay the boards across some rocks so we could all
cross the "river" without stepping off the boards.  There were some other
conditions that made it a brain teaser to lay out the boards and get us all across
inside the allowed time limit.  To make it more interesting, one of our
group had a bandana placed over her eyes and was labeled, "blind."

We gamely took on the project and managed to get everyone across the
river. That was when the folks running the exercise evaluated how we'd treated
our blind colleague.  While we had carefully guided her over the boards, we
hadn't once asked her advice or tried to include her in our planning. 
We'd seen her only as a liability.  Suppose the "blind" person was actually
the smartest and most inventive in the group?  What if she'd been an
engineer? We'd ignored her possible contributions because we hadn't even tried to
look past her disability.

It's easy for most of a student body to do the same thing with kids in
"special ed" or kids in regular classes who are a bit different. 
Whatever these kids' capabilities or challenges, classmates will never know what
they might contribute if we don't actively encourage kids of all stripes to
interact in positive ways.  That's why schools need programs and
materials to educate all students to look past differences and see reasons to
connect.

These sorts of connections can help every kid.  They can help students
with serious disabilities learn to deal with others and be as
self-sufficient as possible, making more of them employable and fewer of them candidates
for public assistance.  They can help typical and non-typical students see
each others' strengths.  They can help gifted students see the benefits of
sharing their gifts unselfishly.  And they can encourage an entire
student body to become the enlightened, compassionate people whom we want
running the world in the next generation.

I've seen this kind of culture in a number of schools.  I'd love to see
us commit to develop it in all our schools.  The widespread creation of
school anti-bullying programs is a big step in the right direction.

Academics are important, but helping kids learn to reach out to each
other as human beings can be the glue that holds us together as the world
gets more complex.

Our kids need more than degrees.  Our kids need each other.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the producer of the videos, "INTRICATE
MINDS II: Understanding Elementary School Classmates with Asperger
Syndrome" and "INTRICATE MINDS III: Understanding Elementary School Classmates
Who Think Differently." You can find more articles on his website:
www.coultervideo.com.

Copyright 2006 Dan Coulter   All Rights Reserved    Used By Permission