1.    Put in the IEP that you are to be notified in advance of staff changes.
Schools makes alterations in staff placement without prior notification to the parents or mainstream teachers who might be affected. The loss of staff or changes in personnel has potential negative ramifications which could be avoided if prior notification was made.

2.    Make sure the IEP meetings include a conversation about HOW the IEP is implemented. A 50% perfect IEP implemented by people who care about your child and know what they are doing is better than a 100% perfect IEP implemented by people who are just going through the motions. At the IEP meetings, bring up the following points (among others):

         (A) Adults need to model behavior for peers:
We always make the point that due to the difficulties our son has with social skills, he really needs the teacher and other adults in the room to model positive responses to his behavior. This helps his peers learn how to deal
with his occasional inappropriateness in a positive and helpful way. We also point out that if the adult exhibits frustration, anger or rejection of our son, that gives his classmates the green light to do the same (or worse!)

         (B) Teacher and aide should try to "coach", rather than intervene:
Our son (like many AS kids) will avoid doing something he doesn't want to do if he can help it. If a teacher or aide starts doing too much for him, not only does he lose the opportunity to learn, he gets dependent on their help and actually becomes less independent. It is much better to help him work through the problems himself giving him the minimum guidance to be successful. It also helps to give him frequent cues when he first starts to
veer off course.

         (C) The child needs to be challenged as his level of competence:
Again, like many AS kids, my son is a mixed bag of extreme strengths and weaknesses. While the IEP focuses on his weaknesses, he also needs to be challenged in his strong areas to keep him interested in and motivated at
school. 

3.    Get a set of books for home. In elementary school I was told I had to buy them to get a set for home; middle school I said I wouldn't take no for an answer "this time", and got the books. We don't have a contact person at school who helps sufficiently with organizational skills so it helps a lot to have the books at home.

5.    For middle school: ask for adaptive PE just for transition period, for locker room particularly and so someone can help with organizational skills in dress out/getting to class (if child does not have parapro). (Monitor the school on this--even though this was in the IEP, no services were provided during transition.)

6.    For middle school: ask for training of anyone dealing with discipline issues in addition to the Assistant Principal. In our schools, if the AP is out, there is a police officer present. I would also recommend training of the secretary of the AP. In our case this training was supposed to happen but it never got done, so again, follow up (or face your child being misunderstood by the guys who issue citations and warn your child that they will be up before "the judge" for the next mishap, which of course wasn't their fault but a miscommunication).

7.    Always take a tape recorder. If you want to "explain" it, say there's so much that goes on in the meetings that it's good to have a recording to hear later. I don't think any explanation is necessary. It is not confrontational. It is careful, and may be your only "proof" if you have to resort to legal resolutions of conflicts.

8.    Ask how the school plans to support the executive functioning problems your child has. This is how I justified the para that is with my son part of the day. If you can cite articles, or even share them, that explain this aspect of dysfunction in AS, you have a powerful argument that they will have a hard time denying. Organization issues are big, big problems usually, and executive dysfunction is the phrase that organization falls under. A lot of other stuff falls under Executive dysfunction, too.

9.    Know that much of the time, what they can imagine as the "best scenario" for your child is fairly limited. Diplomatically help them expand their visions. It might help to let them know that you are learning right along with them, but that you have many observations and experiences by which you have already learned a lot about your child.

10.    Draft goals on the behavior plan which address transitioning into school each day. In one school our goal was: our child will begin her day with 30 minutes of individual computer time and then join the class for morning work. In another school: our child will begin her day in the resource room, being a teacher's helper for the teacher and then move to her regular classroom.

11. Attach a "Parent’s Statement" to the IEP.  Here is what we use:

A. There should be no implicit or explicit expectations of teaching our child to be "normal" or to "fit in" with typical children. Just as a child who is blind would not be taught to pretend she can see to fit in with
her peers, our child should be taught to navigate school and social situations within the context of her autism. Yes, she should be taught what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behavior, but feelings and needs
generated by her autism must be respected.

B. Eye contact is difficult for most people with autism. Our child is no exception. While eye contact can be taught, it is not a natural behavior, and the person must expend considerable energy on maintaining 
eye contact. This takes away from their ability to absorb what the other person is saying. Imagine being told not to blink while talking to someone else. This is similar to what many autistic people experience when eye contact is expected. Our child should not be encouraged to make eye contact.

C. A separate "safe space" should be made for our child. It should be available at all times. If she needs to withdraw because of overwhelming sensory input, she should be able to go to this place without questions
or comments. If she is "tuning out", there is a reason for that, and she should have the time to regroup. In the past, this space has been a separate room, or a corner of the classroom with a chair. It just needs
to be a private area that our child may use at any time she feels it is necessary.

D. Our child functions best in a small, highly structured classroom. Her teacher should have received some training in educating a child with autism, and should have regular, ongoing support available to her/him.

E. It is important that our child learn organizational skills. We are trying to teach her to keep everything together in one notebook, and go over checklists of what she needs to bring to school and take home. We
are working on preparing a master checklist/homework sheet, and would appreciate that it, or something similar, be used.

F. Because our child is small for her age, has trouble defending herself, and cannot "read" the intentions of children who could hurt her (this is a characteristic of autism), there should be no children in her class who
have a history of aggressive behavior toward other students. When she is in a larger group situation, such as lunch or recess, those in charge should ensure her safety (such as a teacher, aide or another student
keeping track of her).

G. Our child's social skills need to be worked on all year in a controlled setting. Small group interactions, controlled by an adult with training in developing social and language skills, will help our child to interact with
her peers, and participate more fully in her classroom.

H. When our child is mainstreamed or included in a regular class, she should have an aide available to her.

I. Regular communication is very important, at least 2-3 times a week.  This would most likely take the form of a notebook passed back and forth between the teacher and us. We will be responsible for keeping the
teacher informed about what is happening in our child's life outside of school.

J. We want to be informed immediately if any expected (on IEP) services are stopped or suspended for any reason -- e.g., extended illness of therapist or therapist leaves and is not immediately replaced.

K. All of the services our child receives will be developed in consultation with the school system specialist in Autism/PDD and an expert in developmental therapy.

L. Our child rarely has trouble with transitions if she is prepared for them. It is important that she be able to meet her teacher and see her classroom a few days before the start of school.

M. Our child's handwriting skills have improved dramatically. She still needs access to a computer for longer, more complex assignments. She will be permitted to complete long homework assignments on her home
computer.